Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
