I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need water and some morals
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