1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
