I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
