All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
