I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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