You just made me feel so damn special
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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