Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
