our cab driver is having phone sex.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize