That's when you crack a 10am beer
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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