guys are not supposed to queef...right?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
