Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This baby is an asshole
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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