with your own penis?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
