I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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