i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
