In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
