i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
