Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just cropdusted the office
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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