help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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