I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize