Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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