I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
