I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
