If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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