My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just had sex bonerless
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize