so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
