he thought i was a dude.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
