Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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