My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
