I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
