redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize