You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
