he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
