dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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