what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
