Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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