5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
