Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
