I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
