i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
and you said cock pushups were impossible
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize