PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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