I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
