I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
