im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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