I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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