i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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