The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
