hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
