I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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