My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My hand turned me down
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
