We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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