Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
