Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
