People in love make me want to vomit
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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