so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
