Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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