girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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