She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My pussy is not your playground.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
