So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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