Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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