I wish you could order shots online.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
