this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
