i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
