the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
