But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
