You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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