The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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