I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
