ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
