member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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